Monday, June 20, 2011

Mother's and Father's Day

We've dubbed this the best year for parent's day ever. For more than the obvious reasons.



I'll explain.

Thursday, our update was not so happy. McKell's lungs were still super hazy, he was still very full of secretions, they are feeling pretty confident that he is developing a nice case of chronic lung disease, and so they just couldn't seem to get the vent settings down without his O2 plummeting. We couldn't even look at him wrong without it dropping. During his diaper change one night, his sats were in the 60s (they should be between 84 and 94) and his supplemental oxygen was at 100%.  He was needing between 50% and 60% supplemental oxygen just to keep his head above water at the best of times. The air we breathe is about 21%.



The doc who rounded on him that day (there are about 15 at this hospital) warned me we were probably going to have to use a steroid called dexamethasone to wean him down and reduce the inflammation. I had read a couple of studies that indicated it had some potential long term developmental implications, and I was concerned about using it before we tried other options. I was assured that our other options were limited though, and that if we switched him to a conventional ventilator, he was likely to lose lung volume and have to be put back on the other vent. I pushed just a little bit. I prayed even more...something along the lines of, "I don't like the idea of this drug. Bless the docs that they can find another way. If not, protect his brain." Sometime while all of this was happening, someone "accidentally" changed one of the vent settings. No one knows who or why. I don't understand the details, but for some reason, because of how well his lungs responded to that, Friday morning they decided to give the conventional vent a try before they did anything else. One of respiratory therapists assured me he would fail. And then they all waited for his O2 sats to plummet.

And they waited.



And he breathed. And his lungs stayed the same (which was acceptable; at least they didn't get worse). He was pretty agitated and was a little swingy in his O2 needs, but not worse. They told me that once calmed down and stabilized, in a day or two, I would be able to hold him.

I plotted. I bided my time. I counted my victories for the day against the day shift (I say that a bit tongue in cheek. They were not at all resentful or obnoxious about throwing out many years of medical experience and intuition and listening instead to some psycho who had spent a couple of hours on the internet. Who needs medical school?) I knew who was on night shift. I thought I might be able to convince them that he just needed his mama.




I was not disappointed. The team on night shift thought it was a great idea and laid him on my chest. His oxygen saturation had been in the low 80s with 45-50% supplemental oxygen. His heart rate had been about 180. It took about three minutes, and his O2 saturation skyrocketed (this is good). They turned his FIO2 (supplemental oxygen) down. Then they turned it down again. Then again. In about ten minutes, his FIO2 was at 26% and his saturation was at about 92. His heart rate was about 160. His breathing was stable and steady. We both breathed a collective sigh. It was awesome. I held him for about an hour an a half. When we had to go home, they put him in his isolette (incubator), changed his diaper, retaped his breathing tube, and reswaddled him, and never once did he need more than 30% O2. He stayed stable through the night, slept great, and the next morning, his lungs looked better. We are now on day 3 on this vent, holding him twice a day, and he is much improved (we all are). They were even able to wean his vent settings a bit.

 There is definitely something healing about human touch. I feel healed already.

18 comments:

  1. Well.... I was okay until I read,

    "I thought I might be able to convince them that he just needed his mama."

    And now I'm bawling.

    Faith, I love you. And you are a good, good mama.

    LS

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  2. Thank you for sharing this walk with us....
    Oh, but for the Grace of God......

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  4. Well, I've had my good cry to start the day! Thank goodness for your prayers and your victories! I'm so glad you're finally able to hold that sweet boy, and I'm so glad it's helping him to grow and heal as he should. Keep it up, Mac!

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  5. Absolutely wonderful Faith! I am so happy for you guys. One small battle victory at a time! Many prayers continue towards you. Love you guys..

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  6. When we got the call that night about the chickens, Marc hung up the phone and whooped! It was such AWESOME news!!! It doesn't surprise us at all that Mama's touch was what he needed! Here's to many more 'good news' whoops!!!

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  7. Well, now I am bawling in the middle of the day!! OH Leah... I can't even say all that is in my heart, but you already know it. SO grateful... We love you guys so very, very much...

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  8. I'm back here again... looking at the pictures again... crying again... I don't think I can love you guys any MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Thanks for making me bawl, too! what an incredible story. You guys are amazing, I love you all

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  10. Thanks so much for sharing this story! You are such a wonderful mom!!! Sometimes moms do know best ;-) Little Mac is so lucky to have you both as parents!! Sending lots more prayers your way! Lots of love!

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  11. Oh yeah, and he is SO adorable and cute and the pictures are fantastic!

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  12. Beautiful!!! I love the sight of a Mama holding her little one for the first time. The human touch is a beautiful thing. What a blessing to have such a sweet little boy who loves his Mama so much!! My you all continue to be blessed! Good job baby Mac!!!

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  13. Wow! That is a story for the books! I love seeing the Hand of God in our lives!

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  14. Best story ever. I will never forget the first time I got to hold Charlie. It was, other than the day we took her home from the hospital, the best day of my life. So happy for you and proud of McKell!! Way to go little man! Keep up the good work! And keep being the good mamma that you are, Faith! How lucky McKell is to have you and Jon for parents :)

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  15. Crying too... what a blessing that you finally both finally get that touch. Thank God for doctors that listen to mothers and the healing powers around you every day.

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  16. Oh Leah-Beah!! Amazing pictures, amazing journey- what an emotional and intensely spiritual time... You are doing great mama!! Just keep listening to your heart! I have re-read this post over and over (I have lots of time while I'm nursing Harrison!) and I just cry... (all over Harrison) :) I also keep my boys updated and show them the pictures- they are rivited!! some of Baby McKell's biggest fans for sure! Still praying our guts out for all of you! I love you Leah :)

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  17. That was just the sweetest thing to see him with you!!

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  18. Seeing the Bean on your chest has got to be one of the best pictures of the YEAR! Made my heart leap... I love you girlie... Your wee man is so blessed to have y'all for his parents.

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