A Saucy Situation

There was a saucy situation going down in my kitchen today...

I received an email from OSU Extension Agent Ross Penhallegon, advising me to pick tomatoes and use them in sauce immediately. The weather we've been experiencing in Oregon lately has been less than ideal for growing tomatoes.

Heat, rain, heat rain... that makes for a lot of cracked, pathetic, and confused tomatoes.

I decided to get crackin' myself and whip out a batch of sauce.

We use this sauce for everything... pastas, pizzas, calzones, lasagna... it's a wonder sauce. It's fabulous.

The recipe comes from Barbara Kingsolver's Book, "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" - a must read if you haven't done so already.

She calls it her...

FAMILY SECRET TOMATO SAUCE

Dun dun dun duuuuuuuunnn...

Ahem.

Straight from the book: 'The point of this recipe is to make a large amount at one time, when tomatoes are in season. If you are canning it, stick closely to the recipe; adding additional fresh vegetables will change the pH so it's unsafe for water-bath canning. If you're freezing it, then it's fine to throw in peppers, mushrooms, fresh garlic, whatever you want. This recipe makes 6-7 quarts - you can use any combination of pint and quart canning jars or freezer boxes."

I got 10 quarts out of my batch, and only did one thing different than the recipe calls for.

I let my simmer.

Overnight. All night. The whole night. Night entirety.

It was a glorious smell to wake up to. Really.

Here's what you'll need:

10 quarts tomato puree (about 30 lbs of tomatoes) - And if you're a little slow like me, that's 40 cups. That's how I measured mine out. While I was washing the tomatoes, I cored them and then I chucked them in my blender and frapped the suckers. It felt good. 
4 large onions, chopped
1 cup dried basil
1/2 cup honey
4 Tablespoons dried oregano
3 Tablespoons salt
2 Tablespoons ground dried lemon peel - I didn't have any so I left it out. So there.
2 Tablespoons thyme
2 Tablespoons garlic powder (or more, to taste) - I used the 2T garlic powder, plus about 3T garlic salt. Cause I'm crazy. And I have a husband who hates sweet sauce but loves garlic. Can you blame him?
2 Tablespoons dried parsley
2 teaspoons pepper
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Soften onions in a heavy kettle (I used my big aluminum stock pot) - add a small amount of water if necessary but NO OIL IF YOU ARE CANNING.

Add pureed tomatoes.

 

Add all seasonings.

 

Bring to a boil, and simmer on low heat for two to three hours until sauce has thickened to your liking. Stir frequently, especially toward the end, to avoid burning.

 

This is where I changed things up a bit. I let the sauce simmer all night long. Aaaalllll niiiiggghhhttt loooong! Aaaalll niiigghht. Okay I'm done singing. 

I can let things simmer all night long for two reasons: 


1. I have a natural gas stove. I wouldn't recommend doing this on an electric range - ask my sister how that fares. 


2. I am pregnant. Let me rephrase that... I am hugely, ginormously,8 months, fatty fatty type pregnant... which means I don't sleep so good. I toss and I turn and even when I can get comfortable and I don't have to pee, I still wake up at 3 am just for kicks and find myself fully alert and energized. I swear that's my body preparing me for late-night feedings. Anyways, I'm not complaining - I still get enough sleep - but I can get up several times in the middle of the night to stir sauce and not think twice about it. Last night D woke up and I was just sitting in bed, staring off into space. He looked at me like I was nutso and in only a way D could, asked sincerely, "Everything okay?" He's so sweet. I let him know I was just contemplating the meaning of life and that he was free to go back to sleep. Don't mind the crazed fat lady sitting next to you. Dream away. 


Where was I? 


Oh yes. I can leave sauce simmering. You may not be able to. If you cannot, follow Barbara's recommendation. If you can, praise the Heavens because it means you can break this saucy situation into two days. Excellent. Procrastination at its finest. 

This morning I collected my canning things, fed the child in the high chair, and started filling quart jars. 10 quarts of sauce is easy shtuff. 


If you can't simmer when the sun's down, continue the process as follows... 


Meanwhile, (this is back when you've added your seasonings and such to your sauce... I'm almost positive you forget where I left you) heat water in canner bath, sterilize jars in boiling water or dishwasher (what's that?) and pour boiling water over jar lids.

SIDE NOTE: Make canning easier on yourself, and use a couple of tricks that women have used since the dawn of time. They're tried and true, and they are glorious. I like easy. Easy peasy. 

1. Steal your paper towel holder. use it to hold your rings so you're not chasing them all over the counter. They're slippery little buggers. 

2. Don't run your jars through the dishwasher every time you're going to use them. Run them under hot water for a  moment, drain them, and then stick them in the oven at about 250 degrees. I promise by the time you use them, there will be nothing living. And then they're piping hot when you put what you're canning into them. Love it.

Bottled lemon juice or citric acid - NOT optional!

Add 2 Tablespoons of lemon juice OR 1/2 teaspoon citric acid to each quart jar (half that much to pint jars). This ensures that the sauce will be safely acidic.

When the sauce is ready, ladle it into hot jars, leaving 1/2-inch headspace.

Cap jars, lower gently into the canner and boil for 35 minutes. Remove, cool, check all seals, and store for winter.

 

 

Voila! You  have Super Sauce!!!!

And thank you Barbara Kingsolver!!

What CAN'T Zucchini Do??

I started this post and then forgot about it somewhere between grading papers, reading the Hunger Games series (which I totally recommend as some fine YA fiction), and cleaning my house...because this is what it often looks like in my kitchen.

 

It's a crying shame too, that you had to wait for so long for it though, because if there is one thing that can compete with the chocolate zucchini cake for top zuke spot, it is zucchini salsa. I'm serious people.  I can eat a jar of this stuff in one sitting, chips are optional.

Start with 10 cups of food-processed zucchini.  Add four chopped onions, four chopped bell peppers, and 1/4 cup of pickling salt.  Let that stand overnight, of for at least six hours.

 

 

Next, rinse and drain the mix, making sure to press on it to get most of the water out.  No one likes watery salsa.  Put it in a pot and add the following million secret ingredients that make it so divine you want to eat nothing else for a while:

• 2 Tbs. of dry mustard
• 2 Tbs. of garlic powder
• 2 Tbs. of cumin
• 1 C and 1 Tbs. of white vinegar
• 3/4 C of brown sugar
• 1 - 2 Tbs. of red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp. of pepper
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 2 - 4 jalapenos (Use gloves and don't touch your eyes. I'm speaking from experience here.)
• 1 bunch of cilantro chopped
• 5 C of chopped ripe tomatoes
• 2 Tbs. of cornstarch
• 12 ounces of tomato paste

Bring that to a boil and simmer until you get your desired thickness.

Look at all those beautiful garden grown veggies.

 

Come to mama.

 

Pour into clean bottles and water bath those babies for about 20 minutes.  Makes about eight pints.

 

I really think that this could be a positive step toward world peace.  You just cannot think about hurting anyone when you are as happy as this salsa will make you.

Crush on a Coffee Table

I have a major crush on my coffee table.

Why you ask?





1. I can hear an awful scraping/rubbing noise coming from the living room while I'm washing the dishes, and my heart rate stays the same because I know it's just the "Owsees" running along it's top.



2. Thomas, or "Tangan" can keep a strict schedule and get where he needs to go... FAST.

He's a very busy train.



3. The cow can live in peace.

4. The boy can climb where he pleases...

And LoLo doesn't have to worry about a thing.

This coffee table's predecessor was glass and metal.

You can understand my previous anxiety and my current relief.

Oh and it has really cool hardware.

Needless to say, we're a happy bunch in the Cherry House.

Chester the Moo and my achin' butt...

On Wednesday evening, we received a call from a family in our ward (The Sorters, actually, the matriarch of which family gave me the amazing recipe for Blueberry Breakfast Cake... you may remember it. I know I do. Mmmmm...) who's neighbor raises Angus cow/calf pairs. One of his *ahem* more spirited cows had twins, and would have nothing to do with the first born, a hearty black bull calf.

He's adorable.

He smells like heaven.

He was still wet behind the ears when we got to him. Literally. I checked.

His name is Chester.

We went to pick up Chester about an hour after the call, though we didn't know whether we'd end up with a "Chester" or a "Cherie" since we had no clue what he/she was at the time.

We were on our way to the Sorter's place when we passed this adorable, wrinkly, 150-year-old man shuffling through his yard. I wanted to squeeze him.

I had no idea.

The Sorter's promptly took us to their neighbors to pick up the calf. Much to my surprise, my 150-year-old crush greeted us in his driveway with a "Hmmph" and headed towards his corrals.

Inside, we would meet the twin calves, as well as mama cow, who was - lacking a better word - psychotic.

Karl and Rose bought their homestead in 1950. They have been married 64 years. Their adorability level is comparable to a baby duck. A very fuzzy, yellow baby duck. And yes. Adorability.

Before we arrived, Karl had identified the orphaned calf. He pointed her out... no him out... no her... no him. For sure, him. We loaded the most adorable bull calf into the back of the pickup. Karl asked us to wait. Karl asked us to bring the bull calf back. He'd gotten it wrong. We loaded the heifer into the truck. We waited. The suspense was killing us. We had the heifer in the truck three times, and the bull calf in twice. This went on for about two hours, during which Karl tried to reconcile mama and babies so he could see for sure which one was not getting attention.

One problem...

Mama, at this point, didn't want anything to do with either of them.

She was ticked that we were even there.

She busted right through a fence and tried to eat me (TWICE!!) while we were loading him into the truck. The first time I was on the phone with my mom, and backed right up against a steel gate. Not a good place to be 8 months pregnant and staring down a 1,500 lb animal. Instinctively, I pointed my hip at her, and then did what came naturally...

I lifted my leg and karate kicked her in the face.

The second time I was out in the open... she came through the fence. She stopped. She sniffed the air. She locked her eyes on me. She snorted. She contemplated murder. She charged. I peed my pants. Almost.

I've heard of fight or flight mode... but I have this thing about being chased. Since I was young I've said I'd be the perfect murder victim, because when I feel that someone is chasing me, my bones fuse together, my muscles lock up, and I freeze right where I am.

It's slightly embarrassing.

Thank goodness, I have been wrong all these years. When a real danger presented itself, my body instead did what was needed to protect my life, my dignity, and my child.

I ran.

My huge, wobbly, unstable pelvis'd self ran like there was no tomorrow.

When I finally got stopped, I found out why pregnant women don't run sprints.

Holy put me to bed. I couldn't get my legs to work.

From what we figure, I pulled every ligament and muscle in my hip flexer/pelvic area. I wanted to die that first night. Thank Heavens for a responsible, dependable, competent husband. He took care of everything.

Side note: I went grocery shopping today, and only 3 people I counted gave me the "Oh how cute she's pregnant so she has to waddle like a penguin" look.

Listen up, people. This is not the "I'm pregnant so I have to waddle" walk. THIS is the "Oh my achin' butt why did I run for my life I would have rather broken something" walk.

Anyways.......

Were there until after dark and every minute that passed was one more minute that calf went without eating. But, he's alive!!

It took Chester a full day to be comfortable enough in his surroundings to eat. We're on day 3 of being in the world now, and he is eating just fine!!

I think the slobber is proof enough...

Delicious ain't it? Wanna see it again?

How about from a different angle?

Every time D steps outside that calf bawls his head off. Thanks to the Sorters, the Stokes, and the Richins, we were able to gather everything we needed for him the first night without having to hit up the feed stores... they were closed by the time we left Karl and Rose's place anyways. : P

The next day we bought replacement colostrum and he drank it.

Hallelujah!

Our hope is to keep him alive long enough for him to grow big... and meaty... and... and...

I gotta stop. I'm drooling.

For now, I will love him and scratch his ears. I will giggle when he butts D for more milk. I will let him suck on my finger and love his soft, squishy nose. And I will forget that he will be huge and mean before I know it.

For now... all is well in Zion. And in the Cherry House.

An Old French Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies

This is my friend Jo.  She was a room mate of mine my freshman year of college at BYU-Hawaii.  We had way too much fun together.  See those cookies?  They aren't Jo's fault.  They're mine. 

Then I met a man.  A man who changed my life.

Meet Alton.  He taught me so many things.  Among them, he taught me the secret to cookies. Not a specific recipe, but the secret behind any recipe.

Have I shared with you the second best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever? (The first best is a secret I will take to my grave because I promised I would; sorry.)

I HAVEN'T??  Well, let me rectify the situation.

I got this recipe from an old French friend by the name of Nestle' Tol'ous...and Pheobe Buffay, from Friends.

Fat.  Necessary for so many good things in life.  Is it the caveman in us?

One cup.  You can use butter, but it has a higher water content and makes the cookies spread more, so they're thinner.

Creamed with sugar, brown and white, living in blissful harmony.  Why can't we all just get along?  Add about a quarter cup of each.

Remember my exhortation to cream your sugar and fat properly?  This is most important in cookie making.  Light and fluffy.  Go do something productive for about five minutes.  Chop walnuts or something.

Add an egg and incorporate it completely.  Add another.  Throw in a teaspoon of vanilla.

Sift together a cup of flour, a teaspoon of baking soda (I add a bit less here at 6K feet), and a teaspoon of salt.  Add to the creamed sugar and beat for about two minutes.  You need gluten to begin forming...protein threads...look for the dough to start clinging to itself...sad to be separated from itself...oh that we were all so content with ourselves...but I digress...

Stir up the flour in the bag or whatever container you have it in, and add another cup.  Then fill up half a cup of flour and add enough that it looks like this:

Don't look at the chips...we haven't added those yet.  Just look at the dough.  It has started to pull away from the sides of the bowl.  The thing with flour, as mentioned before, is that how much you add depends on all sorts of things, like temperature, humidity, elevation, the phase of the moon and where it is in the zodiac, so what you add one week may not be what you add the next.  Part of what we are to learn in this life is flexibility.  I have faith that you can deal with it.

Now add as many chocolate chips as floats your boat...sometimes a cup, sometimes more.  And walnuts.  Damned walnuts and their siren song.  I'm still soliciting a little chopper thingy (that is a technical term) for Christmas, if that is the relationship we have...don't get me one if we aren't on gift-giving terms though because I'll feel terrible that I didn't get you anything.

As a result of my abhorrence, I chop them very roughly, not that I'm mean to them...I just leave them in rather big pieces.  Isn't the English language wonderful?

If you like, add a handful of oatmeal to the pot.  It makes the cookies a little meatier and I love it, but in my opinion makes the dough less yummy, so sometimes I leave it out.  I left it out this time.  Flexibility, see?  Beautiful.

Now, here's a trick: toss on a sheet of wax paper and throw the mixing bowl in the fridge while the oven preheats to 375.  This will solidify the fat, making the cookies lighter and cakier...they won't spread out.  Put it back in the fridge between batches.

Another trick: tin foil on the cookie sheet.  I hate washing cookie sheets almost as much as I hate chopping walnuts.

About ten minutes...maybe twelve.  Again, consult your star chart...but take them out right before you think they are done:

Put them on a piece of paper towel on a cake rack.  The paper towel will absorb some of the excess fat, making them a bit crispier as well as making them diet cookies.  It nullifies the effects of using an entire cup of Crisco.

Enjoy warm with cold milk.  Tomorrow (because I assume you will make them tonight; I'm going to) nuke them for 15 seconds to trick yourself into thinking you just pulled them out of the oven.  OR roll the extra dough (cha, right) into balls and layer them in Tupperware with wax paper and keep in the freezer (thanks Tamara, you're brilliant) for a rainy day. 

Eat your heart out Pilsbury.